Its the sugar right? Nope not it at all. People will have you believe it tho. This is why alcohol makes me fat and why it should be banned now that I am back on Weight Watchers.
Last Saturday night, Ish and I were at his co-workers house hanging out after their shift was over. The plan was to have a drink or two, watch a movie, and then head home. And for the most part we did just that. I did not over indulge in alcohol by any means. I was fine to drive no issue there. However, alcohol, no matter how small amount you ingest, KILLS your judgement. Here is what went down.
(We have just waved goodbye to Chance and are hopping in my truck to drive home)
Ish: Hey babe, what should we have for supper (note the time is 3:05am)
Me: Hmm well its a bit past supper time and not quite breakfast, The only places that are open is fast food
Ish: That's okay
Me: I though yout weren't a fan of fast food
Ish: I'm not, but I'm hungry so its okay.
Me: Hey let's go to Whataburger
Ish: That sounds so good.
Me: Whataburget it is. I wonder how many points I have left. Oh wait it's technically Sunday which means my points are reset.
Ish: Huh
Me: Never mind. I'm good
Whataburger: Welcome to Whataburger how may I help you today
Me: Yes I'd like a bacon cheeseburger meal large size with a diet coke, a chicken tender salad.....
Guess which one was mine.
Oh alcohol you are not my friend.
Monday, December 13, 2010
not what I would want to see (imported)
Sunday, November 28, 2010
not what I would want to see
Dear Building Planner of El Aye Fitness,
I'm not quite sure what you were thinking when you planned the lay out of one of your fitness clubs. This particular club has the lap pool and hot tub situated at the front of the building. This in and of itself is not a problem. The problem that I have are the floor to ceiling windows not only looking into the pool area from inside the club but the floor to ceiling windowns looking into the pool area from the parking lot. Now I can kind of forgive the windows looking into pool from the club, at lease i know the people have to pay good money to look at my fat ass waddeling to and from the pool and hot tub. But I have a bit of a problem with the ones from the parking lot to the pool. The last thing I want is somebody driving by the gym to look in (perhaps they are thinking of joining) and see me, in all my beached whale glory in a suit a size too small because I have too much pride to buy a bigger suit. Seriously what is a new client going to think when they pull up and see me as representative of the El Aye Fitness Clientel? As a club owner I would not want that. I would be locking up that pool area with maybe windows overhead or at least really high up on the walls. Seriously. I know that people are supposed to go to the gym to get in shape and get healthier, but I am not exactly the poster child for Fitness Goals R' Us. And so here I am, researching prices for weight watchers yet again, because I just cant do this on my own. Everytime I try I fail miserably and end up gaining ten pounds because I can't control my need to eat crappy food that tastes or so good. So off I go again into the glorious realm of weight loss and get fit.
not what I would want to see
Dear Building Planner of El Aye Fitness,
I'm not quite sure what you were thinking when you planned the lay out of one of your fitness clubs. This particular club has the lap pool and hot tub situated at the front of the building. This in and of itself is not a problem. The problem that I have are the floor to ceiling windows not only looking into the pool area from inside the club but the floor to ceiling windowns looking into the pool area from the parking lot. Now I can kind of forgive the windows looking into pool from the club, at lease i know the people have to pay good money to look at my fat ass waddeling to and from the pool and hot tub. But I have a bit of a problem with the ones from the parking lot to the pool. The last thing I want is somebody driving by the gym to look in (perhaps they are thinking of joining) and see me, in all my beached whale glory in a suit a size too small because I have too much pride to buy a bigger suit. Seriously what is a new client going to think when they pull up and see me as representative of the El Aye Fitness Clientel? As a club owner I would not want that. I would be locking up that pool area with maybe windows overhead or at least really high up on the walls. Seriously. I know that people are supposed to go to the gym to get in shape and get healthier, but I am not exactly the poster child for Fitness Goals R' Us. And so here I am, researching prices for weight watchers yet again, because I just cant do this on my own. Everytime I try I fail miserably and end up gaining ten pounds because I can't control my need to eat crappy food that tastes or so good. So off I go again into the glorious realm of weight loss and get fit.
I Choose You Sweat Sock Smell
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
I Choose You Sweat Sock Smell
I don’t get people. Really, truly, I don’t understand what it is that goes through their heads sometimes. In no way am I saying I’m perfect, trust me I AM NOT. I just like to think that I have some sense of tact and social accountability. Let me set the scene.
Location: The Infamous El Aye Fitness
Time: Who knows? I was working out
Situation: um who? Ha Ha I kill me.
So here I am at the gym getting my sweat on. I hate the gym. I hate working out. I hate sweating where people can see me. I used to like the gym, about 30 less pounds ago, but one cannot loose wait by Wii Fit alone so I go. I am reminded everyday why I hate going. It’s more than just the effort to get there. It’s the act of packing my stuff because I have to have a full shower before going home to sleep. It’s the actual drive to the gym. Its parking and walking into a locker room that still, no matter how nice and clean it looks, smells like feet. It’s the PEOPLE, oh sweet lord the people. I’m not a people person and I am definitely not a stupid people person. I can get past the people lifting in bad form. Maybe having a trainer spoiled me. Maybe taking some physiology and some strength training classes has inflated my ego a little. Sometimes I just want to snap a picture and caption it “epic fail” but I don’t. Mainly for fear that I am too large to get away in time. I can roll with it I guess. I can deal with people singing along with their IPODS. This is actually amusing because there is usually a line of IPOD singers on the treadmill (myself included) singing along and turning the cardio area into a scene from the “Sing Off” cast off try outs. Seriously people, we can’t sing.
But the number one cardinal infraction can be illustrated as such. I am on the stair-master having completed 30 minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of strength training before my cool down. I am lost in my world of gossip magazines and sweat when suddenly the air gets caught in my throat. WTH? I quickly scan my systems; lungs okay, muscles okay, heart rate steady, sweat production extensive. What would this be? I breathe in through my nose and it happens again. Stopped mid inhale and it won’t budge. I’m overcome with a sharp pain right between my eyes across the bridge of my nose. Seriously what is this? It takes a minute for it to register, its perfume. Ughhhhh. I immediately start gagging at the thought and the fact that I have now missed about five decent breaths of air. As I look around for the offender it hits me so hard I nearly fall of the treadmill. I can’t take it. It’s not just perfume its heavy floral scented that reminds me of my Kindergarten teachers. A smell once overpowering yet comforting is not downright nauseating. I understand the need to cover up the smell of ones sweat. That is what deodorant is for. Not perfume. The culprit? An older woman using the treadmill two machines over from me. For a minute I felt remorseful for wishing ill upon my others. That was instantly forgotten when I did get so light headed that I seriously tripped on the stairs.
LADIES, don’t wear perfume to the gym. Really. I’d rather smell body odor work out stink then be overcome with ew de floral shop. Some of us are sensitive to smells. Especially when huffing and puffing on the stair stepper while completely out of shape. I’ve had times where I’m tempting to spritz some spray on out of fear of my rankness but I remember how much more intense floral perfume is when paired with the smell of sweat socks. So please do us all a favor, don’t do it. And God have mercy on your soul if you are wearing perfume and have bad form on the Lat Pull Downs because then, I will have to say something.
I Choose You Sweat Sock Smell
I don’t get people. Really, truly, I don’t understand what it is that goes through their heads sometimes. In no way am I saying I’m perfect, trust me I AM NOT. I just like to think that I have some sense of tact and social accountability. Let me set the scene.
Location: The Infamous El Aye Fitness
Time: Who knows? I was working out
Situation: um who? Ha Ha I kill me.
So here I am at the gym getting my sweat on. I hate the gym. I hate working out. I hate sweating where people can see me. I used to like the gym, about 30 less pounds ago, but one cannot loose wait by Wii Fit alone so I go. I am reminded everyday why I hate going. It’s more than just the effort to get there. It’s the act of packing my stuff because I have to have a full shower before going home to sleep. It’s the actual drive to the gym. Its parking and walking into a locker room that still, no matter how nice and clean it looks, smells like feet. It’s the PEOPLE, oh sweet lord the people. I’m not a people person and I am definitely not a stupid people person. I can get past the people lifting in bad form. Maybe having a trainer spoiled me. Maybe taking some physiology and some strength training classes has inflated my ego a little. Sometimes I just want to snap a picture and caption it “epic fail” but I don’t. Mainly for fear that I am too large to get away in time. I can roll with it I guess. I can deal with people singing along with their IPODS. This is actually amusing because there is usually a line of IPOD singers on the treadmill (myself included) singing along and turning the cardio area into a scene from the “Sing Off” cast off try outs. Seriously people, we can’t sing.
But the number one cardinal infraction can be illustrated as such. I am on the stair-master having completed 30 minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of strength training before my cool down. I am lost in my world of gossip magazines and sweat when suddenly the air gets caught in my throat. WTH? I quickly scan my systems; lungs okay, muscles okay, heart rate steady, sweat production extensive. What would this be? I breathe in through my nose and it happens again. Stopped mid inhale and it won’t budge. I’m overcome with a sharp pain right between my eyes across the bridge of my nose. Seriously what is this? It takes a minute for it to register, its perfume. Ughhhhh. I immediately start gagging at the thought and the fact that I have now missed about five decent breaths of air. As I look around for the offender it hits me so hard I nearly fall of the treadmill. I can’t take it. It’s not just perfume its heavy floral scented that reminds me of my Kindergarten teachers. A smell once overpowering yet comforting is not downright nauseating. I understand the need to cover up the smell of ones sweat. That is what deodorant is for. Not perfume. The culprit? An older woman using the treadmill two machines over from me. For a minute I felt remorseful for wishing ill upon my others. That was instantly forgotten when I did get so light headed that I seriously tripped on the stairs.
LADIES, don’t wear perfume to the gym. Really. I’d rather smell body odor work out stink then be overcome with ew de floral shop. Some of us are sensitive to smells. Especially when huffing and puffing on the stair stepper while completely out of shape. I’ve had times where I’m tempting to spritz some spray on out of fear of my rankness but I remember how much more intense floral perfume is when paired with the smell of sweat socks. So please do us all a favor, don’t do it. And God have mercy on your soul if you are wearing perfume and have bad form on the Lat Pull Downs because then, I will have to say something.
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